the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
