Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
