do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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