I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
