I wannas sexs uuuuu
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
