There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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