Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
