How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
