yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
