no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
