problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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