Please, let me fuck your mom
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
