Pants 0. Shit 1.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
