She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize