you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
