If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I look excited, but its just a facade.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
