I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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