Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
