508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
can u get pink eye on your cock?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
