I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
