how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
