ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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