I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
