Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
