Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
