What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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