I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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