you guys were way drunker than both of me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
