We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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