I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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