it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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