god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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