yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize