if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize