just come out here and I will go home with you...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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