Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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