i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dick very happy bro
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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