i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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