i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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