I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
