You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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