I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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