Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
ttyl tear gas
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
