Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize