god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
