white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
