and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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