I want to stick my p in your. b.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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