lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
