I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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