You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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