I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ketchup is God's man juice
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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