how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
