She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
