she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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