Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
