She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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