Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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