Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Let's get the cat blown out
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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