I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
