Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
