I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
