I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize